I am The Operator
I will be there when you dial 0
I know every single area code.
I am there when you dial 411
Language is not a problem for me, I speak every one
I know the name of the new eatery on the corner.
I can tell you why a ringing number doesn’t answer
I will find the name of the new store at the mall next to Sears
Even find the number for the army buddy you haven’t seen in 30 years
I am the person you want to talk to at 2am when the party’s over
I can tell you what beats what in poker
I know which stores are open all night
I can settle any argument or fight
I magically make a busy number ring
I can decipher almost anything
I know the name of the new neighbor down the street
I am able to get the hotel maid to bring clean sheets
By repeating your request 12 times more,
I can now do what I couldn’t do before.
I can forecast the weather from a room with no window
Tell you the schools are closed, before they even know
I know how to spell every name you come up with
Except for ‘Bill’, ‘Tom’, ‘Jones’ and ‘Smith’
I am someone your 2 year-old can talk to while you sleep
I know what it means when you say, “it went beep, beep”
I will listen when others would be burdened
Consider all requests, no matter how absurd
I know what time it is all around the globe
And, my psychic hat will tell me the nearest pizza place to your abode
All you have to do is pick up the phone, if you care,
and I am always, faithfully there.
I am the operator
For, once you become an operator, you are forever THE OPERATOR.
(I wrote this when they closed the Directory part of Operator Services)
Operator ‘One Six’